HAHAHAHAH
So I sat down to write...
McKenzie called me to get TJ out of her room I did came back and lost my train of thought. LMAO.
Til next time
Friday, March 11, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Elements of Love
I always watched the world growing up not to understand Love and all it's elements.
At almost 30 I am realizing it's alot of hard work to stay in love and keep your soul mate. Silly as it sounds right. Soul mate means your meant for each other and nobody else that when all else fails your soul mate is by your side. You just need to look and you'll probably realize your soul mate is still there.
It's true, as much as you love someone does not mean you can not be hurt by that same person, or that you don't hurt the people that you love. To put it simply it's life, the ever evolving days of life.
Those who know me know that I hate change I have a hard time adjusting but I do it. Now i have 3 beautiful children and a husband who I know loves me to make me fight harder to adjust. To make me want to adjust to the world around me and make it so I don't want to just run away.
That is what i have always done, it's what I have watched so many times over and over again. Who says when it broken it can't be fixed?
The people that don't want to be bothered fixing it, the ones who see no hope and no return but to move forward alone.
At the end of the day that is not me. Not anymore. I rather fight everyday and give it my all if it hurts me and some around me then walk away just to make it easy. Life isn't easy and for some reason we all want it to be. I am so blessed and when I look past the pain that I feel that is what I see and the pain disappears. Love and joy fill my heart and there is no room for misery.
On the days that my emotions are raw that is when I have to fight, even if nobody understands, but people do and it helps to have someone tell you sometimes that your not being crazy your just dealing with life. The friend or love that brings you back to reality. That is why you choose to have the certain people in your life that you do. They make you the person you are, good bad or indifferent they are there. They can tell you anything and although it may hurt it will be okay because they will help wipe away the tears.
I have wiped away more tears and I'm still here fighting and I will never stop, because it's what my family deserves.
So at almost 30 haha I realized these elements of love
*It grows as long as you let it
*It hurts even if you don't want it to
* It give you a reason to smile a reason to be sad and make s you who you are
* not everybody wants to be loved back but it doesnt mean someone doesnt love you
*Some points of your life you need to be alone to just figure things out but that doesn't mean you need to be alone forever.
That I love being loved by my husband and children and that I love them completely.
At almost 30 I am realizing it's alot of hard work to stay in love and keep your soul mate. Silly as it sounds right. Soul mate means your meant for each other and nobody else that when all else fails your soul mate is by your side. You just need to look and you'll probably realize your soul mate is still there.
It's true, as much as you love someone does not mean you can not be hurt by that same person, or that you don't hurt the people that you love. To put it simply it's life, the ever evolving days of life.
Those who know me know that I hate change I have a hard time adjusting but I do it. Now i have 3 beautiful children and a husband who I know loves me to make me fight harder to adjust. To make me want to adjust to the world around me and make it so I don't want to just run away.
That is what i have always done, it's what I have watched so many times over and over again. Who says when it broken it can't be fixed?
The people that don't want to be bothered fixing it, the ones who see no hope and no return but to move forward alone.
At the end of the day that is not me. Not anymore. I rather fight everyday and give it my all if it hurts me and some around me then walk away just to make it easy. Life isn't easy and for some reason we all want it to be. I am so blessed and when I look past the pain that I feel that is what I see and the pain disappears. Love and joy fill my heart and there is no room for misery.
On the days that my emotions are raw that is when I have to fight, even if nobody understands, but people do and it helps to have someone tell you sometimes that your not being crazy your just dealing with life. The friend or love that brings you back to reality. That is why you choose to have the certain people in your life that you do. They make you the person you are, good bad or indifferent they are there. They can tell you anything and although it may hurt it will be okay because they will help wipe away the tears.
I have wiped away more tears and I'm still here fighting and I will never stop, because it's what my family deserves.
So at almost 30 haha I realized these elements of love
*It grows as long as you let it
*It hurts even if you don't want it to
* It give you a reason to smile a reason to be sad and make s you who you are
* not everybody wants to be loved back but it doesnt mean someone doesnt love you
*Some points of your life you need to be alone to just figure things out but that doesn't mean you need to be alone forever.
That I love being loved by my husband and children and that I love them completely.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
A New Year Welcome 2011
I don't know where to start exactly. I think that this past year has been such a nightmare. My life as I know it feel apart around me and I let it happen.
I can tell the world this 2011 here I come. Iam not goin to rattle off a bunch of resolutions that I'm not gonna stick too. I'm not going to make promises I can't keep. I am going to become me again, and Iknow and realize that I have to find me again.
My marriage has taken a turn for the worst, my children have been put aside because of it and it's truley all my fault. I shut down, I stopped fighting for what I wanted most in life. My family, all because I didn't know what to do.......
It took a whole year but I know now and I am going to do it.
Watch, wait, read, Listen as 2011 becomes the year of a life time and next year we r having a party to celebrate a year to remember has past and it all started by putting one foot foward.
I can tell the world this 2011 here I come. Iam not goin to rattle off a bunch of resolutions that I'm not gonna stick too. I'm not going to make promises I can't keep. I am going to become me again, and Iknow and realize that I have to find me again.
My marriage has taken a turn for the worst, my children have been put aside because of it and it's truley all my fault. I shut down, I stopped fighting for what I wanted most in life. My family, all because I didn't know what to do.......
It took a whole year but I know now and I am going to do it.
Watch, wait, read, Listen as 2011 becomes the year of a life time and next year we r having a party to celebrate a year to remember has past and it all started by putting one foot foward.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Time
I wish I could say that it's endless like the possibilities that I have with where I am going to take this post.
I think though I jsut needed to write something, anything and it would help me feel like I am not neglecting my blog:(
The summer has come and is about to go but that is okay, the kids are starting a new chapter in thier lives and so am I.
I am forcing myself to take time for me..YOU'LL see:)
I think though I jsut needed to write something, anything and it would help me feel like I am not neglecting my blog:(
The summer has come and is about to go but that is okay, the kids are starting a new chapter in thier lives and so am I.
I am forcing myself to take time for me..YOU'LL see:)
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Just Breath.
My entire life I have always been the one who worries more than I should, the one that thinks the worst will happen when anything is going on. I have always doubted myself as a person , because I have never had the emotional strength to do other wise.
Now your thinking this is where I write I have changed. Um... no not really. I honestly don't think I ever will.
Butt... I have learned to just breath.
When I am overwhelmed with guilt of not having time with my family, or I realize that I have to fight my way through dirty clothes just to clean it. I seem to stop breathing. This is 2 of many things I find myself not breathing about. It could be a deadline at work or the simple fact that I have not cut any coupons to go grocery shopping.
The fact is that I blame it on several things, being a middle child. Yes I said it. The fact that I am a Pisces and yes I believe in Zodiac signs. This little stuff makes me well me. Like it or leave it.
Through the years I have learned it's never going to be simple and laid out. There will always be days when I should of stayed in bed or want to crawl back in and that is OK.
There is going to be weeks that just seem to blend in with each other because I am busy. I kind of signed up for that having 3 kids and being a full time working mom .
In between I have taught myself to breath. I know it is a natural thing you learn in the womb right. No, wrong very wrong. This process of breathing takes a lot to learn. How to breath and become center again. How to live and keep pushing through and take the breath that gets you through it.
I have done it. I am proud of this because at the end of the day it make me a better mom, wife, and boss, it makes me a better me.
Now your thinking this is where I write I have changed. Um... no not really. I honestly don't think I ever will.
Butt... I have learned to just breath.
When I am overwhelmed with guilt of not having time with my family, or I realize that I have to fight my way through dirty clothes just to clean it. I seem to stop breathing. This is 2 of many things I find myself not breathing about. It could be a deadline at work or the simple fact that I have not cut any coupons to go grocery shopping.
The fact is that I blame it on several things, being a middle child. Yes I said it. The fact that I am a Pisces and yes I believe in Zodiac signs. This little stuff makes me well me. Like it or leave it.
Through the years I have learned it's never going to be simple and laid out. There will always be days when I should of stayed in bed or want to crawl back in and that is OK.
There is going to be weeks that just seem to blend in with each other because I am busy. I kind of signed up for that having 3 kids and being a full time working mom .
In between I have taught myself to breath. I know it is a natural thing you learn in the womb right. No, wrong very wrong. This process of breathing takes a lot to learn. How to breath and become center again. How to live and keep pushing through and take the breath that gets you through it.
I have done it. I am proud of this because at the end of the day it make me a better mom, wife, and boss, it makes me a better me.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Home, Work, no time for much else.
So on jan. 25th my bosses left for thier annul 6 week vacation. I was prepared I know how to run my store, I felt confident that I could handle the challenge. Plus, in any need I always have my hubby.
Ok, now let me say that today is my first day off in a week and I am pooped. Trying to figure out how to balance me working 50 hours a week plus being a mom and wife will work out.
The thing is even as I type this I realized even though it's not easy it already has. Well Kind of.
The kids miss me, and I miss them terribly but I know that this is what I have to do. Not for me, not for just them for all of us. So now when I am off or I am home in the morning or before bed I take the time to really catch up with them through chatting with them or take an extra hug and kiss to get us through the times when I am not here.
Sean is doing it too. Working 50 hours then coming home and doing what has to be done here at home. We rarely see eachother anymore but we know we have to do this, we know where we are going and we are going to keep working hard to meet the goals we have for our family.
We have uped our date night to twice a month, we catch up imbetween relieving eachother from home to go to work. Phone calls on our breaks.
Then late march we are going awway for a weekend just us for my birthday. We are also planning on a family weekend too we all need it.
So although I may whine, sometimes even cry thinking this is all not possible it is. It all works out, it always does.
I am tired , I am cranky, but I love my life and everything it comes with.
Ok, now let me say that today is my first day off in a week and I am pooped. Trying to figure out how to balance me working 50 hours a week plus being a mom and wife will work out.
The thing is even as I type this I realized even though it's not easy it already has. Well Kind of.
The kids miss me, and I miss them terribly but I know that this is what I have to do. Not for me, not for just them for all of us. So now when I am off or I am home in the morning or before bed I take the time to really catch up with them through chatting with them or take an extra hug and kiss to get us through the times when I am not here.
Sean is doing it too. Working 50 hours then coming home and doing what has to be done here at home. We rarely see eachother anymore but we know we have to do this, we know where we are going and we are going to keep working hard to meet the goals we have for our family.
We have uped our date night to twice a month, we catch up imbetween relieving eachother from home to go to work. Phone calls on our breaks.
Then late march we are going awway for a weekend just us for my birthday. We are also planning on a family weekend too we all need it.
So although I may whine, sometimes even cry thinking this is all not possible it is. It all works out, it always does.
I am tired , I am cranky, but I love my life and everything it comes with.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Jodi Piccoult books
As I have posted before I love to read. it's something I have always relied on to let me escape anything. Into another world somewhere else's world.
Lately' I have been reading Jodi Piccoults books. First 19 minutes which was given to me as a birthday gift and although it took me a bit to really get into it, it was not the author's fault it was mine. ( explain later:)
Then I read My sister's Keeper, which made me cry and also helped me get through taking my 3 yr. old to get 60 stitches and stay calm. The book was amazing, but I am afraid to see the movie. A whole different post.
Now I am almost done with Handle with Care, which follows suit to the other two books simply amazing.
I have her newest book The Pact and I already can not wait to read it.
In talking to my hubby about how I like Handle with Care, I expressed to him that it is the way she writes. For those of you who read her books you understand. The way she writes chapters from the others perspective involving thoughts for each character really puts you in the book, makes you understand so much it's amazing.
Since I was little I have always likes one Author until I ran out of books and had to find another. Its like an obsession almost. Okay, maybe it is silly but I am kind of serious.
Are you still wondering why i say it's not Jodi's fault I couldn't get into 19 minutes right away?
First of all from the moment I picked up the book , I felt like I was cheating on James Patterson as a dedicated reader of his. Plus...
Considering that for the past years I have been obsessed with James Patterson, who writes totally different but is also amazing. His chapters are quick, but leave you hanging so you wanna read more.
It's easy to keep reading his books, because he has several series, and amazingly writes faster then I can read them.
So I am weird and to me that is okay. I love them both for two totally different reasons. I just love to read.
Lately' I have been reading Jodi Piccoults books. First 19 minutes which was given to me as a birthday gift and although it took me a bit to really get into it, it was not the author's fault it was mine. ( explain later:)
Then I read My sister's Keeper, which made me cry and also helped me get through taking my 3 yr. old to get 60 stitches and stay calm. The book was amazing, but I am afraid to see the movie. A whole different post.
Now I am almost done with Handle with Care, which follows suit to the other two books simply amazing.
I have her newest book The Pact and I already can not wait to read it.
In talking to my hubby about how I like Handle with Care, I expressed to him that it is the way she writes. For those of you who read her books you understand. The way she writes chapters from the others perspective involving thoughts for each character really puts you in the book, makes you understand so much it's amazing.
Since I was little I have always likes one Author until I ran out of books and had to find another. Its like an obsession almost. Okay, maybe it is silly but I am kind of serious.
Are you still wondering why i say it's not Jodi's fault I couldn't get into 19 minutes right away?
First of all from the moment I picked up the book , I felt like I was cheating on James Patterson as a dedicated reader of his. Plus...
Considering that for the past years I have been obsessed with James Patterson, who writes totally different but is also amazing. His chapters are quick, but leave you hanging so you wanna read more.
It's easy to keep reading his books, because he has several series, and amazingly writes faster then I can read them.
So I am weird and to me that is okay. I love them both for two totally different reasons. I just love to read.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
One of those days (mornings)
So three day a week, I have to get all three kids out the door by 8:30. Doesn't seem so bad right? Right?
OK so it's not everyday I need to look at my husband when he comes through the door with eyes that scream for help. Today well it was just one of those days.
The girls got up, first Kenzie refused to eat, um OK. I went through the whole list of what she could have and said "well, if your not hungry whatever." She cried that I wouldn't feed her and she was starving, so OK I go through the list again. Now she wants a waffle with PB and syrup and eggs. What! OK so I start making her breakfast and Thalan wakes up. I walk in his room to be hit by the worst odor ever. Ugh. I scoop him up change him put him in his highchair and deal out breakfast. Waffles and eggs.
No, no coffee for mommy yet what was I thinking.....
So I go to get everyone close out when I hear a room full of giggles from the kitchen. Not every mother takes this as a warning sign but I know better, they are up to something.
I go back to the kitchen to find Kenzie and Thalan rubbing their breakfast through their hair. Seriously, Faith was laughing so hard she almost peed. So here I am trying to stay calm. I tell them to eat, but now we also have to do another bath for both of them, which means more playing and mommy more wet then them.
They finish eating I get them in the tub, and here it goes. My two monkeys in the tub. I say it's not a play bath but they do anyway which whatever at this point I had to get Pb and syrup out of their heads, which Kenzies hair is so curly and long I thought I was going to cry. Faith knowing I am on edge is getting ready for school like a champ. Thank God.
OK now they are out and it's time to get dressed blow dry hair and get stuff together I check the time I have 15 min.
So they are dressed, bags are packed, hair is even dry. I felt like super mom. That is until Sean comes walking through the door, and says are you going shopping after bringing Kenzie to school. I shoot him a quick ya, and he says um in your PJ's.
OK so I forgot to change, didn't even think about it. I run around get clothes on, Jackets on the kids, get the car seat back in the car (Why do we ever have to take it out!) get in look at Sean and he smiles and says "Honey here is your Coffee."
Where was he an hour ago!
One day at a time.
OK so it's not everyday I need to look at my husband when he comes through the door with eyes that scream for help. Today well it was just one of those days.
The girls got up, first Kenzie refused to eat, um OK. I went through the whole list of what she could have and said "well, if your not hungry whatever." She cried that I wouldn't feed her and she was starving, so OK I go through the list again. Now she wants a waffle with PB and syrup and eggs. What! OK so I start making her breakfast and Thalan wakes up. I walk in his room to be hit by the worst odor ever. Ugh. I scoop him up change him put him in his highchair and deal out breakfast. Waffles and eggs.
No, no coffee for mommy yet what was I thinking.....
So I go to get everyone close out when I hear a room full of giggles from the kitchen. Not every mother takes this as a warning sign but I know better, they are up to something.
I go back to the kitchen to find Kenzie and Thalan rubbing their breakfast through their hair. Seriously, Faith was laughing so hard she almost peed. So here I am trying to stay calm. I tell them to eat, but now we also have to do another bath for both of them, which means more playing and mommy more wet then them.
They finish eating I get them in the tub, and here it goes. My two monkeys in the tub. I say it's not a play bath but they do anyway which whatever at this point I had to get Pb and syrup out of their heads, which Kenzies hair is so curly and long I thought I was going to cry. Faith knowing I am on edge is getting ready for school like a champ. Thank God.
OK now they are out and it's time to get dressed blow dry hair and get stuff together I check the time I have 15 min.
So they are dressed, bags are packed, hair is even dry. I felt like super mom. That is until Sean comes walking through the door, and says are you going shopping after bringing Kenzie to school. I shoot him a quick ya, and he says um in your PJ's.
OK so I forgot to change, didn't even think about it. I run around get clothes on, Jackets on the kids, get the car seat back in the car (Why do we ever have to take it out!) get in look at Sean and he smiles and says "Honey here is your Coffee."
Where was he an hour ago!
One day at a time.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
My friend is having a giveaway!!!!
About three years ago I was blessed with getting to know Janet. In the past three years she has been busy raising her two beautiful children with her wonderful husband. In that time she started a business for her self. I can not even describe how wonderful everything she makes is. To be honest she amazes me, she makes so many things Hair bows, baby legs, wall hangings, winter hats, tutus, and more importantly she loves what she does and makes them to perfection so everyone is happy.
She is having another giveaway, here is the link:http://dimplesdots.blogspot.com/2010/01/january-giveaway.html
When you send her an email let her know that you saw it on my blog, feel free to blog about this too, and get more entries, sheare with friends, and most of all CHECK out her entire site, she is fabulous.
She is having another giveaway, here is the link:http://dimplesdots.blogspot.com/2010/01/january-giveaway.html
When you send her an email let her know that you saw it on my blog, feel free to blog about this too, and get more entries, sheare with friends, and most of all CHECK out her entire site, she is fabulous.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I love to read.
As far back as I could remember I have always loved to read. Now that I am a full time working mommy I find it to be my down time, but watch out when I get into a book it consumes me.
I am a huge James Patterson fan. I have read almost all of his books.
I just finished the whole twilight series in a week in a half. (my fear of vampires is what took me so long to actually read it.
I am now reading A sister's keeper by Jodi Piccoult. I read 19 minutes. A girlfriend gave me a bunch of her books, lets see what I can get into.
I like Nikolas sparks, but couldn't really get into the last book I picked up. Hmmmm.
I am very excited about the fact that I discovered nook, and hopefully I will get one for my birthday. Ok I am more then excited I am ecstatic. A friend at work has one and I think its the coolest thing in the world. An Ipod for books basically. Of Course I will still buy my James Patterson books, but as of the rest I just read and swap so it will be less clutter around the house:)
So I am not sure why some people look at me strange when they realize I read so much. I don't see anything wrong with it.
**** Here's a funny*****
I was at the end of book 2 of the twilight series and Faith came in to tell me something. Well I heard her talking, saw her from the corner of my eye, but had no clue what the actual words were coming from her mouth. Until she caught my attention with.
" So I am just gonna fly to the moon real quick and whe I get back I will make dinner"
I looked up and said "what"? To her reply of Mom I was trying to ask you something and you just kept reading. oops!
I am a huge James Patterson fan. I have read almost all of his books.
I just finished the whole twilight series in a week in a half. (my fear of vampires is what took me so long to actually read it.
I am now reading A sister's keeper by Jodi Piccoult. I read 19 minutes. A girlfriend gave me a bunch of her books, lets see what I can get into.
I like Nikolas sparks, but couldn't really get into the last book I picked up. Hmmmm.
I am very excited about the fact that I discovered nook, and hopefully I will get one for my birthday. Ok I am more then excited I am ecstatic. A friend at work has one and I think its the coolest thing in the world. An Ipod for books basically. Of Course I will still buy my James Patterson books, but as of the rest I just read and swap so it will be less clutter around the house:)
So I am not sure why some people look at me strange when they realize I read so much. I don't see anything wrong with it.
**** Here's a funny*****
I was at the end of book 2 of the twilight series and Faith came in to tell me something. Well I heard her talking, saw her from the corner of my eye, but had no clue what the actual words were coming from her mouth. Until she caught my attention with.
" So I am just gonna fly to the moon real quick and whe I get back I will make dinner"
I looked up and said "what"? To her reply of Mom I was trying to ask you something and you just kept reading. oops!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year
Wow 2010 I can not believe it.
The past 5 years I have really started my life. Silly to say at 28 but it's true. It was 5 years ago I meet my wonderful husband, and beuatiful stepdaughter. They changed me completly forever. Then in 2006 I not only had my beautiful baby girl but I married the man who I knew I was meant to be with forever. 2008 came and I found out not only was I having my final blessing but it was a boy, born in December what a way to end the year. Then this past 2009, my life has flashed before me. We moved with our 3 children back to my hometown, raising them in the same place I grew up means something more then I can put into words.
my oldest started a new school with stride. My middle child started pre-school without a blink of an eye. My baby turned one and is so not a baby anymore:( I have been promoted to assistant manager in my store and I love my job , although balancing work and home seems to be a job within itself but I am proud to say I am doing it.
As for this year, I have 2 different resolutions.
1- Find a better balance with home and work. A schedule, be organized. I am going to try.
2- Be healthier. I got wii fit plus for Christmas and I need to use it everyday. I need to do something, besides pay for a gym membership that I never get to use. I need to cook healthier, and stop eating out as much. My schedule isn't great when it comes time to come home and cook, sooo crockpot here I come.
I think that is enough to keep me busy. I am going to try and weekly I will post about it, maybe you all can help me stay motivated.
Happy 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!
The past 5 years I have really started my life. Silly to say at 28 but it's true. It was 5 years ago I meet my wonderful husband, and beuatiful stepdaughter. They changed me completly forever. Then in 2006 I not only had my beautiful baby girl but I married the man who I knew I was meant to be with forever. 2008 came and I found out not only was I having my final blessing but it was a boy, born in December what a way to end the year. Then this past 2009, my life has flashed before me. We moved with our 3 children back to my hometown, raising them in the same place I grew up means something more then I can put into words.
my oldest started a new school with stride. My middle child started pre-school without a blink of an eye. My baby turned one and is so not a baby anymore:( I have been promoted to assistant manager in my store and I love my job , although balancing work and home seems to be a job within itself but I am proud to say I am doing it.
As for this year, I have 2 different resolutions.
1- Find a better balance with home and work. A schedule, be organized. I am going to try.
2- Be healthier. I got wii fit plus for Christmas and I need to use it everyday. I need to do something, besides pay for a gym membership that I never get to use. I need to cook healthier, and stop eating out as much. My schedule isn't great when it comes time to come home and cook, sooo crockpot here I come.
I think that is enough to keep me busy. I am going to try and weekly I will post about it, maybe you all can help me stay motivated.
Happy 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Christmas.
Our Christmas was wonderful. The morning was very peaceful, although Kenzie's excitement was enough for 10 kids. (Faith was at egg donors this year for Christmas morning) Thalan once he started opening presents he didn't want to stop so he played in the wrapping paper.
I know what your thinking where are the pics. You all know me though they are not on the computer yet. Sorry. Work has consumed me, and this is the first time I have been on the computer.
The whole week before Christmas everyone EXCEPT me has been sick in my house with the stomach bug. I don't know how it has passed me, I just think God knows my family and my job need me healthy and is giving me a break.
Santa gave me an Ipod nano and I have not gotten the chance to play with it yet, I can't wait. He even had it engraved. I definitly have the best Santa ever. Plus he got me wii fit plus, Love it and goodbye baby weight. (more then a year later)
So how do I explain to my 3 1/2 yr. old Santa only comes once a year? So she stops asking me everyday why he didn't come again. Nomatter how we put it she just doesn't get it and is so upset, it breaks my heart. If she only knew that if he did it would break the bank.
I love Christmas. This year I had what seemed like no time because I was working so much. Next year I am hoping to be more organized and decorate more. For now I have toys and toys, and clothes to organize. Yuck.
I know what your thinking where are the pics. You all know me though they are not on the computer yet. Sorry. Work has consumed me, and this is the first time I have been on the computer.
The whole week before Christmas everyone EXCEPT me has been sick in my house with the stomach bug. I don't know how it has passed me, I just think God knows my family and my job need me healthy and is giving me a break.
Santa gave me an Ipod nano and I have not gotten the chance to play with it yet, I can't wait. He even had it engraved. I definitly have the best Santa ever. Plus he got me wii fit plus, Love it and goodbye baby weight. (more then a year later)
So how do I explain to my 3 1/2 yr. old Santa only comes once a year? So she stops asking me everyday why he didn't come again. Nomatter how we put it she just doesn't get it and is so upset, it breaks my heart. If she only knew that if he did it would break the bank.
I love Christmas. This year I had what seemed like no time because I was working so much. Next year I am hoping to be more organized and decorate more. For now I have toys and toys, and clothes to organize. Yuck.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Happy 1st birthday ! 12-16-09
I tried to write this yesterday as that was his birthday , but it woulsn't let me log on. I think it was for the best I was just to emotional.
Thalan right after his first bath.
Thalan and daddy 4 months old.
Thalan this Halloween.
I can not believe how much he has changed!
Thalan James was one yesterday.
One can you believe it, I feel like just yesterday I was writing his birth story.
Thalan right after his first bath.
Thalan and daddy 4 months old.
Thalan this Halloween.
I can not believe how much he has changed!Thalan James was one yesterday.
One can you believe it, I feel like just yesterday I was writing his birth story.
My little big man from the beginning. My baby forever.
He is a tough guy that is for sure. He took off crawling at a mere 5 months and was walking by 9.
Thalan has always been so happy, even when he fuses he would seem to smile.
I am truly amazed how different he is from Kenzie, from my pregnancy up to know. I am excited and to be honest a little scared to see the differences grow as they do.
I woke yesterday at 5 am to find myself not being able to sleep anymore. After hubby left for work, the tears came, and I think they were both happy and sad. One such a small number with so much behind it. The baby time is gone though , everyday he grows more independent of me and that is why I am sad. I am so happy for him to be able to play and be happy with his sisters, and cousins. Happy that he has his life ahead of him to explore.
I kind of just wished the time went a little slower.
To my Thalan James. I love you buddy.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
snow days
I woke up early this morning feeling like a child wondering if the snow really did fall and if we could be snowed in all day.
It did and I really needed it. I miss having a day in PJ's with the kids, we spend our days running in 10 different directions and by the end of it I still miss them. Not today.
Today we are watching movies, making some homemade presents, rice Crispy treats, and relaxing. Hopefully we will be able to get out in the snow and play to but it's supposed to rain so I am not to sure.
One of the greatest memories as a child was playing in the snow with my brothers and sister. Coming in for hot coco and watching cartoons we always missed because we were in school, playing board games, and well for me reading my favorite book.
Now I have my own children to look forward to having a snow day but I still feel like a kid oh well. :)
It did and I really needed it. I miss having a day in PJ's with the kids, we spend our days running in 10 different directions and by the end of it I still miss them. Not today.
Today we are watching movies, making some homemade presents, rice Crispy treats, and relaxing. Hopefully we will be able to get out in the snow and play to but it's supposed to rain so I am not to sure.
One of the greatest memories as a child was playing in the snow with my brothers and sister. Coming in for hot coco and watching cartoons we always missed because we were in school, playing board games, and well for me reading my favorite book.
Now I have my own children to look forward to having a snow day but I still feel like a kid oh well. :)
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
My friend is having a giveaway :)
It ends today so hurry and enter while you can.
About three years ago i was blessed with getting to know Janet. In the past three years she has been busy raising her two beautiful children with her wonderful husband. In that time she started a business for her self. I can not even describe how wonderful everything she makes is. To be honest she amazes me, she makes so many things Hair bows, baby legs, wall hangings, winter hats, tutus, and more importantly she loves what she does and makes them to perfection so everyone is happy.
here is the link:http://dimplesdots.blogspot.com/2009/12/december-giveaway.html
Its so simple, to enter but please don't forget to mention my name when you enter.
Thanks and good luck, Connie
About three years ago i was blessed with getting to know Janet. In the past three years she has been busy raising her two beautiful children with her wonderful husband. In that time she started a business for her self. I can not even describe how wonderful everything she makes is. To be honest she amazes me, she makes so many things Hair bows, baby legs, wall hangings, winter hats, tutus, and more importantly she loves what she does and makes them to perfection so everyone is happy.
here is the link:http://dimplesdots.blogspot.com/2009/12/december-giveaway.html
Its so simple, to enter but please don't forget to mention my name when you enter.
Thanks and good luck, Connie
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Sisters
A week ago Tuesday Faith was supposed to go somewhere with her mom. Needless to say she was very excited, and then came home at the usual time because at the last minute they didn't go. Well, when I talked to Sean before I got home from work he said she was fine, but I didn't believe it. Soon enough I walked in the door and she ran to me hugged me and tears came streaming down her face.
We talked and in the end I feel as though I consoled her as much as I could. She turned to me though and said "I guess I should know by now all she does is lie why do I even care" I told her that it is OK to care, because she is her mother and no matter what her mother does she does love her it's OK to be sad when your feelings are hurt. That is when Faith told me to stop , stop trying to make the hurt go away that I can only protect her so much.
This came out of my 8 year old. I cried , I couldn't hold back the tears, but then Faith said she was sorry. I held her and told her my tears weren't because I was hurting , they were because I couldn't take her pain I couldn't protect her from everything. We hugged and cried and then kenzie walked in saw us and commented, mommy I didn't do it, I didn't make sissy cry.
That got us laughing a little and we got ready for bed. I tucked the girls in and heard them chatting for about 20 minutes before they both fell asleep. Thinking wow soon it will be hours that they are up talking about everything.
The next morning came and Kenzie told me that Andraya is not aloud to hurt faith no more. That is makes her angry that she made her sissy cry and she is going to yell at her and if she ever does it again she will hurt her back. Faith looked at me and said she's right mom and she is mad but tell her not to yell at my mother.
This time it will be easy Kenzie never sees Andraya. In the future though as the girls get older I don't know how to stop this battle. Kenzie loves Faith and defends her to the end with everybody, my sister would do the same even up until now. I love how they love each other and would give their all to protect each other.
This morning though when Faith was getting ready for school, Kenzie said "sissy if you need me call daddy's cell phone I will not let her hurt you anymore" Faith hugged her and said told kenzie she loved her. The subject was dropped. I on the other hand walked away hiding my tears because we can't protect her, we can't take away the pain that is caused by her egg donor of a mother. The woman that sees no wrong in anything she does to this child all because she is to selfish to see beyond her self.
Everyday I get through by reminding myself that Faith will become stronger because of all of this and as long as we are her for her when she needs us to be she will be ok.
Am I right?
We talked and in the end I feel as though I consoled her as much as I could. She turned to me though and said "I guess I should know by now all she does is lie why do I even care" I told her that it is OK to care, because she is her mother and no matter what her mother does she does love her it's OK to be sad when your feelings are hurt. That is when Faith told me to stop , stop trying to make the hurt go away that I can only protect her so much.
This came out of my 8 year old. I cried , I couldn't hold back the tears, but then Faith said she was sorry. I held her and told her my tears weren't because I was hurting , they were because I couldn't take her pain I couldn't protect her from everything. We hugged and cried and then kenzie walked in saw us and commented, mommy I didn't do it, I didn't make sissy cry.
That got us laughing a little and we got ready for bed. I tucked the girls in and heard them chatting for about 20 minutes before they both fell asleep. Thinking wow soon it will be hours that they are up talking about everything.
The next morning came and Kenzie told me that Andraya is not aloud to hurt faith no more. That is makes her angry that she made her sissy cry and she is going to yell at her and if she ever does it again she will hurt her back. Faith looked at me and said she's right mom and she is mad but tell her not to yell at my mother.
This time it will be easy Kenzie never sees Andraya. In the future though as the girls get older I don't know how to stop this battle. Kenzie loves Faith and defends her to the end with everybody, my sister would do the same even up until now. I love how they love each other and would give their all to protect each other.
This morning though when Faith was getting ready for school, Kenzie said "sissy if you need me call daddy's cell phone I will not let her hurt you anymore" Faith hugged her and said told kenzie she loved her. The subject was dropped. I on the other hand walked away hiding my tears because we can't protect her, we can't take away the pain that is caused by her egg donor of a mother. The woman that sees no wrong in anything she does to this child all because she is to selfish to see beyond her self.
Everyday I get through by reminding myself that Faith will become stronger because of all of this and as long as we are her for her when she needs us to be she will be ok.
Am I right?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Busy, busy.
Wow I can not beleive it's December 1st.
Before I start on that though, let me go back.
Thanksgiving was wonderful. We went to Seans Grandparents with the kids and it was so peaceful. I made the sides and Gram did the turkey. God bless her and Gramp, at 84 &94 they are both still going strong. I don't know where we would be without them, they both give us so much support that it really gets us through. I love them as though they are my own grandparents and can't think of life without them .
On to Dec. and I know this month is going to fly by, we are so so busy.
Starting this weekend. Here is my Saturday schedule.
10-12 girls have dance
1:45-2:45 Faith has basketball
4:30-6:30 kenzie has her fisrt friend at school birthday party.
Then when we come home I think we are going to decorate the tree. (If I get it up before then)
This is about the same for every Sat in Dec, except its a different birthday party after basketball.
One being.......
My little big mans first birthday. I can not believe it's been a year. My baby doesn't even look like a baby anymore, he looks like a little boy. He will always be my baby though.
Then a week later it's Christmas, my favorite holiday, EVER. I definitely need to start buying new decorations though. My mom always had our house done up like it was a gallery. I know it took years of collecting but still. One day my house will look like a Christmas gallery too:)
Here's off to a busy month let's hope I find the time to blog.
Before I start on that though, let me go back.
Thanksgiving was wonderful. We went to Seans Grandparents with the kids and it was so peaceful. I made the sides and Gram did the turkey. God bless her and Gramp, at 84 &94 they are both still going strong. I don't know where we would be without them, they both give us so much support that it really gets us through. I love them as though they are my own grandparents and can't think of life without them .
On to Dec. and I know this month is going to fly by, we are so so busy.
Starting this weekend. Here is my Saturday schedule.
10-12 girls have dance
1:45-2:45 Faith has basketball
4:30-6:30 kenzie has her fisrt friend at school birthday party.
Then when we come home I think we are going to decorate the tree. (If I get it up before then)
This is about the same for every Sat in Dec, except its a different birthday party after basketball.
One being.......
My little big mans first birthday. I can not believe it's been a year. My baby doesn't even look like a baby anymore, he looks like a little boy. He will always be my baby though.
Then a week later it's Christmas, my favorite holiday, EVER. I definitely need to start buying new decorations though. My mom always had our house done up like it was a gallery. I know it took years of collecting but still. One day my house will look like a Christmas gallery too:)
Here's off to a busy month let's hope I find the time to blog.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
My Marriage
Sean and I have been together for well just about 5 years. Although it seems like yesterday we just meet.
I am amazed on how far we have become
individually,
together,
as parents,
as partners,
and to be honest everyday I am in disbelief how I have someone that completes me so well.
Maybe your wondering why I am writing this.
I realized last night that I just wouldn't be with out him.
What Con?
Five years later and your just realizing this!
No I knew it but to be honest last night I felt it.
While we were talking and he was wiping away my tears and put all the pieces back together for me. As I went to sleep and felt relief my husband not only understand me but he gets me.
I woke up this morning knowing that today is a new day and no matter what happens he is here for me and in so many ways it makes me feel better.
I am amazed on how far we have become
individually,
together,
as parents,
as partners,
and to be honest everyday I am in disbelief how I have someone that completes me so well.
Maybe your wondering why I am writing this.
I realized last night that I just wouldn't be with out him.
What Con?
Five years later and your just realizing this!
No I knew it but to be honest last night I felt it.
While we were talking and he was wiping away my tears and put all the pieces back together for me. As I went to sleep and felt relief my husband not only understand me but he gets me.
I woke up this morning knowing that today is a new day and no matter what happens he is here for me and in so many ways it makes me feel better.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
A Saturday of thought.
For the first time in about two minths, I have a Saturday to relax and take mommy time. Thalan is still home with me while the girls are at Gram's but being that he is such a good boy I can not complain.
So much has been going on latley and I realized today that I have not taken any time to process any of it.
So I am thinking it all through. Not having a fight in my mind about any of it, just writting it all down in a notebeeok so I can see the actions I have to take.
There is a life lesson here beneath all the crazy surroundings.
It's not just to take life one day at a time....
Or even one moment at a time...
It's to remember to breath through all the moments and remember that life is what you make it.
To smile even when you are sad...
Let others give a helping hand....
Don't be afraid to stand for what you believe....
And most of all be thankful for life itself...
I love my life, and I am proud of who I have become through the years. I know i am strong and when I am not feeling as strong as I think I should be I am thank ful for my wonderful husband.
So much has been going on latley and I realized today that I have not taken any time to process any of it.
So I am thinking it all through. Not having a fight in my mind about any of it, just writting it all down in a notebeeok so I can see the actions I have to take.
There is a life lesson here beneath all the crazy surroundings.
It's not just to take life one day at a time....
Or even one moment at a time...
It's to remember to breath through all the moments and remember that life is what you make it.
To smile even when you are sad...
Let others give a helping hand....
Don't be afraid to stand for what you believe....
And most of all be thankful for life itself...
I love my life, and I am proud of who I have become through the years. I know i am strong and when I am not feeling as strong as I think I should be I am thank ful for my wonderful husband.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A big Family
Coming from a big family has taught me many things through life, and to be honest I am still learning. Having a family of five isn't huge but it is not small either ,to be honest I think it's perfect.
Some things I have learned:
Family is always there when you really need them, even if they are not the ones you speak to everyday.
Nomatter how upset you are with anyone in your family if you were raised right if they need you they are there.
Some body that is close enough to your family to call your parents mom and dad will always be family.
There is no difference in siblings even if you have a differnet mom or dad.
Presents don't really matter it's the love that is shared when your together.
There are always going to be times when someone is upset with another, but in the end life is to short to hold a grudge.
Having children of my own has made me realize that life is more precious everyday. Nomatter what is going on, or how bad a day could be the truth is as long as you have family surrounding you life is never that bad at all.
I hope in raising my kids I can show and teach them the things I have learned and learn more from them as well.
Some things I have learned:
Family is always there when you really need them, even if they are not the ones you speak to everyday.
Nomatter how upset you are with anyone in your family if you were raised right if they need you they are there.
Some body that is close enough to your family to call your parents mom and dad will always be family.
There is no difference in siblings even if you have a differnet mom or dad.
Presents don't really matter it's the love that is shared when your together.
There are always going to be times when someone is upset with another, but in the end life is to short to hold a grudge.
Having children of my own has made me realize that life is more precious everyday. Nomatter what is going on, or how bad a day could be the truth is as long as you have family surrounding you life is never that bad at all.
I hope in raising my kids I can show and teach them the things I have learned and learn more from them as well.
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