Saturday, July 18, 2009

Short and Sweet

I always have long post. So here is to trying to be short and sweet.



Sometimes life is trying

a never ending battle



Until you realize...



Take it one day at a time.



There is always a new day to start fresh,

a reason to smile,

a reaon to let go of the past



The past meaning all the yesterdays,

those thing swill never change though.



The future holds all of the tomorrows,

this is what we create



Life is beautiful everyday of it.



Regardless.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My Guardian Angel: Gabriel

Okay okay,blame it on Facebook. I took the Who is your Guradian angel quiz and the answer was Gabriel. I feel as though it wasn't just the quiz something brought me to take it, it has been posted for me to take for days, so why today why tonight, why now. WEll, in reading more about Gabriel I understand.

AND....

I am amazed. I am amazed that a gurdian angel can do so much, and that in reading into the meaning of them can touch your heart in such a way. I am so glad that my Faith has not left me in the years. I hope that showing our children our Faith will guide them as well as it has us.

Who is Gabriel:

Gabriel"Strength of God"; "The Divine is my strength"; "God is my strength" The only Archangel depicted as female in art and literature, Gabriel is known as the "messenger" Angel. She is a powerful and strong Archangel, and those who call upon her will find themselves pushed into action that leads to beneficial results. Gabriel helps hopeful parents with conception or through the process of adopting a child. Gabriel is helpingto open your third eye if it's closed and your spiritual vision is therefore blocked. If you wish to receive visions of Angelic guidance regarding the direction you are going in. If you wish to receive prophecies of the changes ahead. If you need help in interpreting your dreams and vision. Gabriel helps anyone whose life purpose involves the arts or communication. She acts as a coach, inspiring and motivating artists, journalist and communicators and helping them to overcome fear and procrastination. Gabriel also helps us to find our true calling. Ask for Gabriel's guidance if you have strayed from your soul's pathway, if you wish to understand your life plan and purpose. She can also help if you can find no reason for being or if changes are ahead and you need guidance. Gabriel is helping your body if it's full of toxins and needs purifying and if your thoughts are impure or negative and need clearing and cleansing. Gabriel is also very helpful for women who have been raped or sexually assaulted and feel dirty as well as being under psychic attack or if you feel that you have absorbed someone else's problems. Brings message that our sexuality is connected not only with body but also with soul. Is a sacred gift. Teaches that you have a holy law to deattach from people that bring negative energy to you by saynig NO

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Riley Gang!

Having my own children makes me not only appreciate my mom more but all mothers. Its a never ending job, always rewarding in some way but tiring regardless.

Faith is going to be 8 in two months and I look at her every day and wonder where that little girl went. She really is growing up to fast. She has made it to level 5 in swimming lessons and absolulty loves it. She has already told me that when she is old enough she wants to do the training that they offer to become a lifeguard. I think she would be great at it, she is so good at teaching things and explaining things to other people.
*** Faithism*** Faith is a infomercial queen and always has been. When she was 4 she drew on her tv with markers and told me if I had Kaboom it would come right off! Then of course there is ever toy possible that ou get all this stuff mom for less then $20! Right before we moved I got out of the shower and she told me about the hangers that create more space and oh how it is such a good deal if you order now (then she rattled the number off) you get a set free. Here is the phone. I couldn't help but laugh. Then yesterday I came home from work and she handed me a napkin and said Please please. I looked at the napkin to find a 1 800 number for bendaroos. Then she went on a 5 minute repeat of the commercial on everything you can do with them and how much fun they would be! So I told her I would talk to daddy and she came back with oh I already did and he said to talk to you! I laughed and I am now looking into buying them but they sell them at the store so maybe I will go that route. She cracks me up, one day she will be running an AS seen on TV store!
****Kenzisms****My little one has had a hard time adjusting to everything that has gone on the past 6 months and is regressing in certain aspects. She has become very whiny and only wants mommy and really only mommy, which is cute when I am not trying to get anything accomplished. She has started talking like a baby sometimes when she is upset which is like nails on a chalkboard to me, sometimes she won't even speak she will just whine and piont. I am sure it is just a phase but I am worried about her. She still asks to go back to our old home, to live. Last time I passed the street we did live on she cried for 10 minutes. So sad.
She is doing ok in swimming she is in level 2 but has a hard time keeping her face under to swim which I understand . I almost think that they should have a easier program for the little ones. But hey she is learning alot and I am grateful.
So last night Kenzie told Thalan she was going to tell him a bedtime story. I almost peed laughing. This is it:
One day there was a magical princess and her dog Tobi they were playing in the yard lalalalala. Tobi chased a cat into the forest where it was dark and spooky, the princess was scared. Next thing you now there was monsters and dragons with sharp teeth and a hot mouth and a growl like this roooaaarrrr! The princess said please be quiet and then the monsters brought her and tobi home!
I recieve so many compliments on how polite Kenzie is and always has been sense she could talk, its always please or thank you. So to hear her put it in a story was great.
*** My little big guy*** Thalan James is getting to big for mommies comfort. I know, I know they all grow up but being that he is my last I really want to hang on to this baby time. He has started to crawl or what looks like crawling but really is scooting I have to get it on camera. He is trying to pull himself up, next thing you know he will be running. He will always be my baby though.
I think Thalan is allergic to Strawberries! The other day I gave him Apple,stawberry and banana baby food for breakfast along with his cereal. Next thing you know my poor boy has the worst diaper rash ever and is pooping 6 + times for two days straight! I can't think of anything else it could be. So for now no more strawberries.
I have been thinking that he has been teething sense he was 4months old (kenzie got her first two teeth then) he drools, runny nose, chews on everything. But nothing yet. Well, the other day I felt in there and there is a bump, you can see that it is white but its not through yet. The funny part about it is he wants nothing to do with anyone checking his mouth. He pushes your hand away, will clamp his mouth shut, get squirmy, and makes a sport out of not letting you in. Little poop head!.
Even though all of this going on he has still been a super sleeper and has only been a little cranky.
Oh I almost forgot: So Thalan is on the floor playing and the girls are watching Tv. I went into the Kitchen to make lunch. I hear them Laughing and saying no to Thalan. The little buger was sitting up withthe wipes box imbetween his legs ripping them out and laughing like crazy. They shouls make the boxes childproof! And no I couldn't fiund the camera so no pics I know bad mommy.

Well until next time. Take it One day at a time. Enjoy life,and as I tell Faith be a duck.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

One day at a time.

Well, considering yesterday I was in battle mode I wanted to write how excited I am about today.

I have off from work from both jobs and I am going to spend all day with the kids. I think we will go for a walk on the rail trial and then head to the pool. Sean is working most of the day so I probably won;t get to many pictures but i wanted you all to know that I am not letting my anger consume me.

One day at a time. It really is the only way to live.

Happy 4th of July!!!!!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

The never ending battle.

I have to get this out becaue it is consumming me and I feel as though I am going to explode..I try to keep this off my blog but decided it was time to vent and here I am.

A lot has been going on lately with Faith's mother. I fear for Faith most of all. Right after mothers day Faith was in tears telling me her mother told her to lie to us about where they were living. We have a rule in our house that we never get in trouble for telling the truth only when we lie because it hurts people. So she tells me where they are staying and that she is sleeping on a mattress in a laundry room and because of all the noise she can hardly sleep but when she told her mother she was unhappy she was told there was nothing that could be done about it. Faith tells me she doesn't understand why mommy has bought a laptop and a car if she has no money for a place to live. So I reassured her and told her that I am sure mommy has a plan, and that it will all work out to give it time. Well, Sean and I knew summer was approaching and that means she is supposed to get more time with Faith, but Thankfully this time has to be agreed upon. So Sean wrote to her mother 2x stating that because of the living arrangements he will not agree to any more sleep overs but she can have more time if she wants during the day or in the evening. With this he got 2 letters back stating that he can not change the court order that he visitations is Mon-Wends. and every other weekend. So when the last letter came and she said that she will be picking Faith up anyway we then called our lawyer again and said please break the court order down for her. Please explain what Sean has been maybe she'll understand it from you. Well, last Monday came and they show up 2 hours earlier then they said they were and it starts. The girls were in the bedroom playing so I stayed inside at first then jay stopped by thank god, to drop something off so i told her to go inside with the kids. I walk over to the truck where she and her boyfriend are and Sean is outside of it to hear this nonsense. She feels like Sean is telling her what to do, and that he is keeping Faith from her,that he is out of line with the way that he talks to her. As he told her this is not him telling her what to do it's the courts and he is not agreeing because of these reasons. This fell on deaf ears, and all she kept coming back with is respecting her. This is not about her this is about Faith. (something she will never get) She said she is taking us back to court, please do I beg. Not that we said this but really please show the courts how great of a mom you are,how much you support Faith,how many times you call when she is sick,why you are always late picking her up or dropping her off, and WHY she is sleeping on the floor in a laundry room. I try to say something and she put her hand up (honestly it's the only time Sean yelled) because she has no right telling me to shut up,um hello I am raising your kid because you cannot be bothered. Anyway I decided not to open my mouth not for her sake but Sean's because I would of never shut up because I will never understand how a mother can act this way. In her very last letter she said that her and Sean need to communicate better about Faiths emotional well being. She always says she wants to be friends with him...ugh.. why can't she understand that it's not about her. When the beginning of school came and she insisted on picking Faith up Sean and I both asked if this was about more time with Faith then we will work it out and she said no this is about proving a point that we are following the court order. She could of had Faith on Tues and Thursdays but no she can't be bothered.
When i was younger and dreamed of being married with children I never dreamed of this. I fell in love though, not only with Sean but with Faith. She was the sweetest little thing and was like sunshine walking into a room. I adored her and all the time we spent with her, so did my family. I always told Sean that I did not want to take her moms place though, I want to be what Faith wants me to be and that's it. Well, the day before Sean and I got married Faith looked at me and said i am so happy that you are going to be my step mom can I call you mommy now. I cried. By this time I realized that she needed someone to pick up her moms slack she was living with us and she was like my own but still needed so much to be taught to her in order to grow up and be a respectful adult. So that is what I do.. I treat her just like I treat Kenzie and Thalan, I love her just as much even though I feel like it is more because she needs more sometimes. When people ask I have 3 kids, 3 wonderful children. I would die for them all, I will do whatever I have to for them all.
I will never understand how someone can have a child and not be given the the instinct it takes to be a mom. She will blame it on being young, my mom and BF were young too sorry that is no excuse they are wonderful moms and have always done what is right by their children. It makes me mad that she is only a face for things like the first day of school. I was on the PTO, so that made her join because it was a competition to her in some way. She sits in the truck for all of Faiths softball games, she prays with her at night when she sleeps over but tells Faith she will not come to her communion because she doesn't believe in what I am teaching her. She doesn't do anything as far as supporting her in her daily needs for school, or call when she is sick. This will always be blamed on Sean and I. Even the fact that we are teaching her not to lie...Everyday is a new well my mother said to tell you... my mother said .... we listen and let go. Faith tells me everything because I have always told her there is no need for her being in the middle of adult nonsense and she does,sometimes on Tuesdays she waits up for me to get home form work just to hug me and kiss her goodnight and then the next day I get the mommy we need to talk, I reassure her and do my best to work things out for her with Sean. Being a step mom has been the hardest thing I have ever done but I wouldn't change it for the world. I feel sorry for the people in this world that don't love there stepchildren or their own. I feel sorry for the kids out there that are like Faith and trapped in this awful situation. Faith has made me a stronger person and a better mother then I could ever hope to be. She is my everything.My Faith Marie.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Update on Faith Kenzie and Thalan.

Wow, I can not believe summer is here. I wanted to update everyone on the kids so here I go.

Faith: Although she missed the last couple days of school because of a nasty virus she had, she is better now and back to her old self. She did great on her report card. On the standard testing she scored above average over all and the only thing that really needs improvement is her langauge skills.Which in school that means her sentences and grammar need work. Which Sean and I had been aware of this. Alot of it is not the fact that she can not do it because we know and have seen that she can.It is the fact of her not really wanting to be bothered. No biggie though, we will work with her. She has so many strong qualitied in school. Especially Math, when it comes to that she is just like daddy. Last night she was telling me times tables and that is not even something she learned in school yet. Next time I go to the dollar store i am going to get her flash card so she can practice when she wants.
Yesterday started swimming lessons and she said she enjoyed them I was at work so I can not really say how it went although daddy said it was ok.
Faith is absolutly admired by Kenzie and Thalan. When she walks into a room both of thier faces light up and it is so fun to watch them all interact. I can not believe that she will be 8 in a few short months, a third grader. Watching her grow up has been a blessing in my life that not many realizes I just hope she does.

Kenzie went for a well child check up last Friday. She is 38 pounds and 39 1/2 inches tall. Which puts her at 90% for height and 60% for weight. She was always such a chunk, now she is just growing up. The doctor is always amazed about how smart she is:here is a small bit of thier conversation:
Dr: Hi! How are you today?
Kenzie: I am good, the sun is shiny and I am going to play on the playground with my friends today.
Dr: Wow that sounds like fun. Can I ask you a couple questions?
Kenzie looking very serious: Um ok,what?
Dr: what is your name?
Kenzie : You know Kenzie Irene Riley and this is my mom Connie and my baby brother Thalan James.
Dr: your right, do you want to look at pictures with me and tell me what you see.
Kenzie got so excited.
They went through a book that has numbers letters colors, shapes and animals in it.
Kenzie took it on her lap and said i will read to you: She then proceeded to go through the whole book. She still gets brown and black confused and that made her upset, but as the Dr. said her getting them confused is normal her getting upset is like she puts to much on herself already.
( she gets that from me..oops)
Kenzie then had her physical and received a clean bill of health EXCEPT::: she needs to see an ENT, her tonsils are huge just like Faiths were and considering the fact that she snores the Dr. want to be safe then sorry. Great.
While Thalan was getting his physical Kenzie sand to her little brother, the Dr. loved it. We went from twinkle twinkle,bah bah black sheep, abc's,little miss miffit, and old McDonald.
The Dr. also said that us putting Kenzie in preschool is a great idea.. my baby girl is growing up.
When I asked her about the terrible threes, she said to give it time. That most people say that 3 is worse then 2. It is the terrible threes and I can not wait until it is over to be honest. She is not bad really but will test you when possible, and will get her self into trouble if given 5 seconds! Plus oh did I mention she is emotional like mommy as well. This makes her fits worse because its not just a fit it is a pity party. I just keep reminding Sean and myself it shall pass it is only a stage. Well, not the emotional stuff please pray for us when she is a teen.
kenzie started swimming lessons too, it didn't go great and required daddy getting in the water but i think with time it will get better, or at least I hope.

Thalan James is always so hungry why we are there, that during kenzies check up he ate and was asleep by his. The Dr. was amazed though by how happy he woke up even though she was poking at him. He now weighs 18 lbs, and is 27 inches long. Everyone comments on how big he is and maybe because he was so tiny for so long but he is not even in the 50% for weight for hieght though he is in the 75%. At six months he fits into 6 months clothes which I find cute. He is eating baby food like a champ, all I can say is my poor grocery bill in a few years:) He rolls and squirms everywhere. He will sit up but not really unsupported yet. He wants to crawl but just can't get it all the way which by the way is fine with me. Sorry he is my last so I would like to keep him little forever. When she asked how he slept and I told her he was a awesome sleeper that at night he usually sleep for 11-12 1/2 hours she smiled and said that is great you deserve it. Remember she has been kenzies Dr. forever so she knows I have spent the past 3 years sleep deprived. he recieved 2 shots, which in turn mad him miserable for 2 days with the poops. poor little guy. being that he is rarely cranky it was a sad thing to see.

So overall my kids are well, perfect. Not that I really needed a report card or a Dr. to tell me this.

My kids are my life, and I am blessed to have them.
Sorry no pics they will be coming soon.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

What I think,how I think Part 1.

As days come and go there are always things that I think about, some happy,some sad, some things out of the blue. I am going to let you into my mind a little bit, tell me what you think......

I am so grateful..
to have 3 wonderful kids that are happy and healthy...
to have a loving husband that supports me unconditionally...
to have my family and all of my husbands that nomatter what is going on in life they are always here ....
to have friends that are here when I am happy or sad.

To those who know me know that I worry(enough for an army of people)!

I worry about everything there could be to worry about but I have also learned...
That what doesn't kill us makes us stronger....
God will not give you more then you can handle.......
Everyday is a new beginning to let go of the things I can not
control....
There is always a reason to smile....and it's contagious:)

When life becomes frazzled or a day doesn't work out as planned it is ok to be upset just do not let it consume you.......

I hate when my children are upset because of me, if given a punishment for bad behavior or told to do something they do not want to...
Everyday I remind myself I am thier mother, not just an everyday friend it is up to me to guide them and raise them to know and handle life..
When they become upset over something like picking up there room or being told know I remind myself that they will not hate me forever but thank me later for life lessons taught at this time.

Children are so fragile but prove to be very strong and are amazing!

Mommy time outs work!

Nomatter what life brings me I am ready, nomatter what happens I will get through. Being sad is energy that could be used to see the good in something and make someone smile.